Sneaking in my second post…just in time

I intend to write a minimum of 2 blog posts a week this year and herein lies my second just in the nick of time…. phewweee to fail my ‘intensolutions’ in week one would have been a disaster.

This week I have enjoyed having my blogging eyes and ears back on. Please now envision me taking my blogging ears and eyes off the shelf, blowing the dust off from upon them and positioning them back on my face.  It is like putting on your fave jumper after summer is over. (Sorry NZ readers… this will make no sense to you as you need your jumpers- even in summer…. arghhhhh – this makes me panic as it is T-16 days til that will be my reality and I too wont be able to relate to my blog).
Anyway so many things happen throughout the week that are worth a mention when you have your blogging eyes and ear on, so enter my favourite writing strategy: the bullet point.

• My favourite werges for this week: (Please refer to THIS blog to remind yourself of the werge- again, the words that have been werged are highlighted for your visual convenience)
  Herge: When you are on the look out and you hear a good werge. This happens more often once you start to tune in, a bit like when you decide you like a certain type of car and you begin to see it around all of the time.
  Heartaries: The arteries around your heart. Simple yet effective.
  Weleiber: You are a Weleiber if you have been a Justin Beiber fan (Belieber) from when he was just a wee lad singing ‘Baby, Baby oooh’.  Irrelevant to this blog but this is, in fact, me… I am a loyalist.
  Flagasco: I can’t take credit for this one- but it needs a mention.  It was used in a article discussing the fiasco regarding the changing of the flag in NZ at the moment… (I have included this for 2 reasons really:  One -to prove I read the newspaper and two- to prove all the cool peeps are werging).
• Before we move on: Just as some history to this, I realised this week that werging has been part of my life for a long time.  I am sure my mother is reading this now (yes mother is one of my 5 followers) thinking ‘I have no idea what she is going on about’ (as is often the feedback I receive from her regarding my blog posts). However I remember whenever my friends were having a sleepover when we were younger and they got homesick, mum would play the game of taking the first letter of our parents names and swap them over… Such as Pat & Frank became Fat & Prank- classic! This was clearly a distraction technique to get the upset 8 year olds to sleep but also perhaps the time the werge seed was sewn deep in my subconscious ready to explode 30 years later….?!
• Now I am continually reminded about things I will miss about Hong Kong.  They are plentiful as you can imagine and I think this deserves it’s own blog in its entirety, but I must mention this week the man who not only walks backwards, as this is quite common in Honkers- running and walking backwards to stay fit, but this man does so with his dog. It really is quite a wonder.
• Wow- to avoid the risk of sounding like a judgemental cow I have just done a quick google search on the benefits of walking backwards… Check it out: Firstly- it is also known as ‘retro walking’ and we all know anything retro is cool. I could stop here really. However, the other benefits of walking backwards other than getting to say ‘yeah I am a retro walker.  No biggie.’ is less stress for your knees and increases flexibility in your hamstrings and lower back. It also works out your brain and heart at the same time because you have to be more vigilant when you can’t see where you are going (as do the other people on the footpath!!)…You just never know what you’re going to learn each day do you? Once again, thank you Hong Kong I might just join the man and his dog next time!

Right as my packing boxes sit taking up half of my apartment and yet all my wares remain in their original spots I think I need to go out for brunch to think about it… and who knows what my blogging eyes (bleyes) and ears (blears) will see, ready for the next blog.

Until next time!
Cb

Intensolutions

What better way to start my new year blog than with a ‘werge’?  Creating ‘werges’ or ‘the act of werging’ is when you merge words (bolded here for your visual convenience) to create new words and it is nigh on one of my all time favourite things to do. Therefore it is on top of my Intensolution List (Intention slash resolution) for the up and coming year.

This year I have decided it’s time to put my blog where my mouth is… and what follows is my Intensolution List for 2016.  This is both purposeful and convenient:  As by having your intensolutions written down you feel more invested in them (I heard that somewhere about resolutions and or intentions so I can only assume it would be the same for intensolutions?) and by writing my intensolutions down here I have also completed my blog for today. Result! (refer to #4).

#1- To werge more:
Enough said.  Werging for Mayor! Werging is the new black! Perhaps the ultimate goal is the 3 Way werge?  The THWERGE… duhn duhn duhn… Who is in?

# 2- Remember to trust the process:
The universe has my back, I know that because I get emails from it (this is a fact)…The next 3 weeks will be a little bit like a rollercoaster ride here in Hong Kong as I pack up my things and head off into the sunset of Aotearoa. Remembering to trust the process when I am saying goodbye to my life here will get me there in style… well at least with having had some sleep and having some tears left?
Please note Universe:  The trusting of you will continue past my Hong Kong departure date.

#3- Spend time with people I like:
This year those lucky ones in NZ will be on the receiving end of this one. As the reconnection and repatriation begins…

#4- Blog more consistently:
Around 3 times per week on average? Yep I got this…Perhaps 2 times, actually.

#5- Go on an overseas holiday:
This will be on my list forever… Just because I am leaving the accessability of the middle of the earth to the bottom of the earth… I WILL still travel – this will aid in honoring the people in # 3 who live on distance shores.

Other than that I aim to live well and enjoy the present… oh, and avoid preservatives.

What is on your list this year?

Keyboard Superpower

Today when I was helping a student deal with a situation I asked  him: ‘If he could ‘command z’ back each action he took where would he go back to and then what would he change?’… Other than this being an inspired piece of teaching for our students in the 21st Century it made me think….

If you could have one keyboard control as a superpower to use in your life what would it be?

Command z?  This would be awesome! Imagine.  Eat the cake, command z. Drink the bottle of wine, command z. Say something stupid in front of your boss, command z.

Home button? End of the party, hit home button. Finished work, hit home button.  Finished your holiday in the hemisphere opposite to where you live, hit home button.

Command/Shift/4?  This is a cool moment, screen shot.  That person is making a fool out of themselves, screen shot. I want to remember this street, screen shot.

Delete? You are getting on my nerves, delete. That building is blocking my view, delete. Grey hair, delete.

Right click?  I don’t feel like anything in the fridge, right click- more options. Argggh I have nothing to wear, right click- more options. At the bar, working it, no one doing it for you, right click- more options.

F2? It’s a bit dark in here, F2- make it brighter.  Winter is getting me down, F2- make it brighter.  (I might need this one in NZ?).

F9? This meeting is going on and on, F9- fast forward. This supermarket queue is taking a while, F9- fast forward.

F11? House mate having a party, F11- turn it down. Chinese man snorting on the bus in the morning, F11- turn it down.  Partner is snoring, f11- turn it down.

So what do you reckon- you can only choose one!

*** Please note: This was typed with a Mac Keyboard in mind- adapt where necessary.  As I would hate to be held responsible for someone needing F9- fast forward when on a PC F9 is in fact, make it darker.  Arghhhhh a long and DARK meeting…. it doesn’t bear thinking about.

 

I could have had an elephant

So it has been 21 months since I left Facebook.

21 months is how long an elephant is pregnant for.
In 21 months a child is making sense of their world by consistently arranging and rearranging things including raisins from their plate to their nostril…
Or if you are me 21 months is how long it took to complete a Masters in Education…all because I left FB.

Nah.
Well it may have helped but instead I think it just made way for 7 series of Vampire Diaries and a plethora of other weak plotted sorry excuses for TV shows which I love… it’s good to unwind I would tell myself (*don’t be fooled by the past tense- I watched some Chicago Fire tonight).

However now the question rears it’s head- Do I return to the FB?

No chance if I base my decision on this  article…
It can make you feel like your life isn’t as cool as everyone else’s
Yep that classic comparing to everyone else’s best life… Not sure this will aid in my transition from my glamorous life here in Honkers to lil ole NZ. Although my ‘fush n chups’ may give your ‘champagne brunch’ a run for it’s money… My ‘fresh air’ versus your ‘pollution’ sure will – except the pollution is never worthy of a FB status is it….

It can lead to a sense of false consensus.
This one is quite frightening -social media is soooo smart it is tailoring your friends posts, adverts and articles to what it thinks you are interested in … not necessarily giving you a true representation of what is happening around your world. Now let’s be honest, if there is one thing we need less of in this world that is more farrrking propaganda.

It can keep you in touch with people you’d really rather forget.
This is one thing I have not missed.  People who I would rather forget I have forgotten… but what will happen once I reactivate…. It may be like a scene from my Vampire show when the ‘walls’ between the worlds were let down.  Oh it doesn’t bear thinking about.

It can make you jealous of your current partner.
Now this would be terrible?! 

It can lead you to envy your friends’ successes.
Surely not your true friends… but we are talking about FB friends… very different things.

It can reveal information you might not want to share with potential employers.
Oh dear.

Finally, It can become addictive.
Recently, as my phone is getting old and the battery has begun to run out very quickly, my commutes tend to be phone free… This may be ironic but because of this I have noticed the incessant use of devices and quite frankly it repulses me… but this is for another blog.

So the jury is out but for now I am going to continue with being FB free… Although watch this space. Thoughts welcome!

A Waxing Gibbous moon trumps an Emerging Phoenix.

What better day (or night, actually) to make a blog comeback?
The reason:  The moon is in a ‘Waxing Gibbous’ phase. Yes sir, it is.

Back story…
I was wondering what to entitle my come back blog as I have been absent from the blogging world recently. Naturally I started to research synonyms for restarting, for rebirth, for images that represented a come back… an emerging phoenix, a chrysalis, crazy ethereal figures – but nothing was really catching my attention until I thought of the moon! Since me and the universe (the universe and I, I know!) are such good buddies I KNEW the moon would be new and that would link explicitly with this new phase of my blogging comeback (get it?)… But in fact the moon, this very night, is not new it is waxing gibbous instead. Of course it is and clearly a ‘Waxing Gibbous’ moon trumps an Emerging Phoenix.

Just for your information this phase is when the moon is more than 50% illuminated but not yet a Full Moon. The phase lasts round 7 days with the moon becoming more illuminated each day until the Full Moon… Hmmm so in reflection, as I repeat the universe and I are such good buddies this must be a sign that my blogging comeback will in fact happen this week… not in it’s entirety tonight(only 50%) but over the course of the next 7 days it will be complete.

So watch this space…  (quite literally if you want to see the moon)

Observationally speaking

So I have made a few observations lately. Usually with me observations lead to questions.

Check them out.

I was getting my haircut last week and was thoroughly enjoying my head massage from the lackey (this is irrelevant to my story but I just looked up the definition of that word: One definition was ‘a brownish European moth of woods and hedgerows’. My head masseuse wasn’t a moth, however.  The other definition: ‘a servant, especially a liveried footman or manservant’. My head masseuse wasn’t one of them either.  Hmmm). Now this is relevant to the story:  She was fecking good. That is what got me wondering.
‘Did I get head massages in NZ when I got haircuts?’ So I tried to remember when I was a youngster but I don’t remember getting a massage whilst I was getting a perm (ouch!- my ego is in pain. My perm didn’t hurt). I also don’t remember get a head massage a few years later when I got my undercut. (ouch! – my ego again) and… I surely didn’t get any head massages (or haircuts for the matter) when I had my dreadlocks for 7 years.

Well as the saying goes: You gotta feel to heal. For me it is a mixture between embarrassment about my hair dos (Or don’ts as the case may be) and bittersweet regret of not having more head massages.

Another observation of late has been the suggestion that google gives me when I am looking up the definition of a word. (This happens a lot in my life because I can’t understand my university readings.  Which leads me to another observation: academics are a bunch of boring punks)…. But I digress… why does google want to know if I want to know the definition of ‘insert boring academic word’ in hindu or tagalog or tamil…. Ummmm I don’t even know the meaning of it in ENGLISH!!!!

Now one of 2 things could be happening right now:  You could be nodding in agreement OR you could be judging me on not knowing the meaning of discretionary. I wanted to make a gag here by inserting a sentence that used ‘discretionary’ correctly, but also made sense.  I was struggling so I googled one: Natural Law, he claims, leaves room for discretionary arrangements like episcopacy; Scripture does not mean to supersede the light of reason. Works perfectly don’t you think? (Good ole google).

Now I will leave you with my final observation. I have a new night guard (night is the operative word here).  He says good morning every time I arrive home in the evening. No real question has arisen from this observation.

I used to leave the house

People on the bus journey home from school today were talking about bars in Hong Kong that I hadn’t been to. That hurt. It made me realize that this recluse style lifestyle I have resorted to is paying it’s price. I used to be leave the house. Now what? I’m healthy and sleep well…. I’m not convinced it’s worth it to be honest.

Although this weekend I drunk some Moet and got the giggles, so I drunk some more. The next day I felt sick…. I’m not convinced that’s worth it either.

Who am I kidding?  It was TOTALLY worth it.  Man, bubbles and giggles and shit giving mates totally trumps getting off the treadmill (very quickly) at the gym the next day to run to the loo.  The army were laughing at me… that army inside me that multiply and give each other a high 5 every time I feed them sugar…. Imagine the party (a-holes).

Tonight as I contemplated my next move (there is only one solution, really- just drink vodka and soda from here on in). I got an email reply from a very good friend who I reached out to after a while since a visit is pending… Her response was quite refreshing.

‘Hey, only being able to drink vodka is no bad thing really. Imagine if you could only drink peach schnapps and nothing else. Or mead? Or sambuca? Imagine if the only thing you could ever get drunk on for the rest of your life was Advocaat. I’d take a vodka and soda over any of those’

There is always a silver lining, people.

A happy little story

I went to the dentist today and was feeling pretty gloomy about the whole thing… I actually hate my dentist I think.  I am not sure if I have hated anyone or anything for quite some time…. except peppers.  Now I definitely hate them!

Then…. life changed.

I got in a taxi with a very funny driver.

First he said ‘You lady from Australia?’. I politely corrected him. Then he recounted his trip to Melbourne last year. ‘It 4 season in one day. Cold, hot, rainy’. Ummm that isn’t 4 seasons.

‘In Melbourne I see very famous stones in the water’ Umm the 12 Apostles?. ‘Yeah yeah and then I see little pelicans in Philip Island.’ Umm penguins, I think they were penguins. ‘Yeah yeah you been there and seen the pelicans?’.  Yes sir, I have seen the pelicans!?

Then he proceeded to tell me all about his lazy daughter.  I said ‘no disrespect sir, but I am a teacher and more often than not Chinese parents expectations are too high’.  He laughed ‘Do you think expectation too high? My lazy daughter want to move to Taiwan because there are many movie star who live there- aiyaaah, I work hard all day long driving up, driving down and my daughter only love movie star. What your father do with lazy daughter?’  A fair point – I had no more teacher advice to give him.

I was still laughing when I got home, cooked snapper and ate blackberries.
Dentist, Shmentist.  You can’t keep me down for long.

Be great- why not?

Yep- you guessed right, I have a paper due.  But this has provided some motivation… so once again procrastination has come out as the boss.

Bad (or good?) Procrastination

Actually when you think about it procrastinating actually breeds pro activeness… just in areas that aren’t necessary in need of action. I think procrastination gets a bad rap.  For instance It’s been a while, I know, since my last blog….but nothing like an assignment that I don’t understand to get the ole Spaghetti BLOGognaise back up n running…. Procrastination does in deed equal pro activeness. I rest my case.

Plus I have had some fans hounding me for another installment (not really).

So here are few comments, queries, concerns and theories from the last couple of weeks:

• It is now 5 weeks since I have had sugar, wheat, dairy or yeast. They say it takes 21 days to break a habit… but those Easter Eggs in the supermarket keep calling my name when I visit. 21 days pffffft.
• On Saturday evening I was walking home with bags filled with green, organic boringness and feeling OK about another booze less night at home making a meal and watching the telly when my mate who lives upstairs come out of the building in a little black dress ready for her night out. Slap, In. The. Face. I wouldn’t have been surprised if she dropped cupcakes off to me the next day just to finish off the job.
• I went for a check up with the surgeon who did my colonoscopy last week- Dr POOn (hee hee).  I arrived and sat down in his office/cubicle/room thingo and there was an awkward silence as he looked at me searching my face for answers… (Ummm its not my face that has the answers here buddy!)… After a while he said “Now… we did a procedure recently with you… what was it again?’. Then he proceeded to show me photos of his trip to Iraq whilst the nurse attempted to find my records. Luckily all is clear and my colon is squeaky clean- well, clean of cancer.
• Last November I bought some raffle tickets to support a colleague’s husband’s school fair.  Needless to say I forgot all about it- just the other day I got a call saying I had won a voucher for a whole lot of meat imported from New Zealand!  The timing could not have been better- since it’s all meat n veggies around here these days.  (Thank you universe for not sending chocolate!)

Right, procrastination calls- dinner, washing, booking holidays… you know the drill when an assignment is due.